A prediction I made to myself about 2 months ago will apparently not come true but it's close. The Baltimore Orioles are going to finish with the worst record in the AL at least. The Nationals get the worst in the majors, pretty much wire-to-wire. It kind of hurts worse when you realize they were supposed to be that terrible. The O's? I don't know what to expect from them. Maybe they can turn it on in the next 2 years but I don't have a good feeling about it. The Nats will get that catcher next year and develop him to become a decent C in the majors sometime around his 30th birthday. Long after he's flamed out in Washington. Jeff Weaver's twin from another mother/decade Stephen Strasburg willn't even do that. He'll get tons of money completely incommensurate to his performance for a long while but he will never be truly "good." Now let's get on to college football, shall we?
I like the idea of doing this regularly. Like every week kind of regularly. But I am lazy, so don't count on me for things. Purple + Bold = I think this team will win. This is yelling into an infinite wind tunnel, so here we go:
Hawaii at Louisiana Tech Wednesday night football! Don’t have an opinion really, but I’ve got to pick a winner.
Colorado at West Virginia Dan Hawkins is terrible
Southern Miss at UAB
Pittsburgh at Louisville No, not a vote of confidence for Wannstedt.
Utah State at No. 20 Brigham Young
No. 6 Virginia Tech at Duke
No. 22 Michigan at Michigan State MSU is heartless.
Clemson at Maryland Just ‘cause. No, not really. Clemson will win. But I want Md to win so I’m picking them. Fair?
Wisconsin at Minnesota
Virginia at North Carolina Wow. What a shit fest. I loved UVA when I was a kid. They should go back to their awesome orange jerseys and white helmets.
South Florida at Syracuse USF should be ranked. Somewhere around #15
East Carolina at Marshall
Tulane at Army Toughest pick of the week. Really. I have no idea who will win and I kind of like both of them in the same way.
Toledo at Ball State Both horrible and I think Ball State might be better but I can’t be bothered to look up information. Do I have any base of knowledge for most of these picks? Good lord, no. But I didn’t want to write an article about Georgia v. LSU
Northwestern at Purdue
Arkansas State at No. 13 Iowa
No. 3 Alabama at Kentucky Richardson busts for 180yds and Kentucky won’t score.
No. 10 Cincinnati at Miami (OH) Cincinnati, USF and WVU are fun to watch. I like the Big East and I wish Miami was still in it
Temple at Eastern Michigan Holy mackerel. Does this game pay for itself? How can these two universities possibly clear a profit on this? Does this have some kind of tie-in to basketball that makes it worthwhile?
Kansas State at Iowa State I want K-State to be like they were 6 years ago because I sort of hate everyone else in the Big 12 except for Texas Tech
No. 4 LSU at No. 18 Georgia Here it is. Between the hedges. The game that inspired me to write all this other shit. I think LSU will bomb on Georgia. Seriously. I’ve watched both of these teams a couple of times and I have no faith in Georgia. LSU is really talented, just like they always are, and Georgia is pretty talented as well. But Mark Richt is a lot like Bobby Bowden over the past 9 years. That is to say, he brings in lots of great recruits, beats most of the shitty teams he’s supposed to beat, wins his bowl games and puts out lots of NFL talent. But he will never win another title. At least Bowden got his titles as a head coach. Because he will always lose this type of game. LSU will get some #1 votes out of this thing and then we’ll have an insufferable week of hype leading to the Florida game. During that week you will see 317 Tim Tebow stories on ESPN, 3 LSU stories. And Florida will win because they have this week off. Tebow will not even be a factor but he will get credit for the W even if he doesn’t play.
No. 15 Penn State at Illinois Please, Ron Zook, please just stop. I beseech you. I am much more surprised to see Zook coaching a major school than to see Joe Paterno still coaching. If I’d been told in 2003 that only one of these coaches would still be coaching, I would have guessed JoePa.
UCLA at Stanford
Washington at Notre Dame
Florida State at Boston College Consistency is over-rated. Who needs to win every week? Variety is the spice of life!
North Carolina State at Wake Forest
Central Michigan at Buffalo
Memphis at UCF
Air Force at Navy Go Middies!
Western Michigan at Northern Illinois
New Mexico at Texas Tech
Florida International at Louisiana-Monroe
Ohio at Bowling Green
Wyoming at Florida Atlantic
UNLV at Nevada I’m basing this pick on my confidence in the stellar backfield of Randall Cunningham and Ickey Woods. I don’t think those guys ever played together because, if I remember correctly, Woods was a JuCo transfer. But then again, I’m not looking this up. And I won’t watch this game unless I click on the ‘check scores’ button and it’s 32-41 in the 1st quarter.
No. 9 Ohio State at Indiana Somebody got to die…
No. 21 Mississippi at Vanderbilt Ole Miss is terrible but I have bad luck picking against them. Jevan Snead is like David Klingler without the 5000 yd season or the 700-yd/12-td game. Which means he’s a career backup but he’ll at least be in the league.
Oregon State at Arizona State I like Oregon State’s RB and I have to assume that the guys they had last year that made them decent are still OK. The ones that are still in school. ASU? Don’t trust them. Ever. Jake Plummer is available, but he’s ineligible for college football.
Kent State at Baylor Somehow, don’t know who he is, the Baylor backup QB will step up and keep them viable for a bowl game.
South Carolina State at South Carolina Spurrier should really get back into coaching and recruiting if he’s gonna keep taking the other USC’s money like this.
No. 25 Georgia Tech at Mississippi State ACC swine...
Texas A&M vs. Arkansas* What’s the asterisk for? I didn’t look at the bottom of the schedules page to figure it out. That’s how thorough I am. I root against Arkansas because they were assholes and idiots for firing Houston Nutt. To dredge up the past, let’s recount: He took your terrible, bottom of the pack SEC football program and made it a perennial contender with great recruiting and a good track record with the NFL but couldn’t quite win the title game and a few of his players mothers didn’t like him. I see why you’d need to replace him rather than fortifying the program and treating him like the deep South version of Frank Beamer. Way to go Arkansas. You fucked your program and lost money doing it. Texas A&M apparently hasn’t been visible or something. I know Mike Sherman is a bad head coach but I still think they can beat Arkansas based on nothing.
Tulsa at Rice
Auburn at Tennessee I thought Lane Kiffin could’ve been a good NFL coach. He’s not gonna get Tennessee back to the top of the SEC for at least a couple of years and I don’t know if he’s really the great recruiting leader that USC boosters make him out to be but I hope he gets a chance to stick around for a couple of years. He’s entertaining.
UC Davis at No. 5 Boise State The record for points in a college football game is still 222 by Georgia Tech, right? Because I don’t want to predict it’s going to fall this week and then find out it’s something ridiculous like 250 by some D-III school. Because Boise could go for 223 here, but asking for anything more than that might be unreasonable.
No. 7 USC at No. 24 California Seriously? Didn’t Berkeley just lose by 647 points to Oregon? Yeah, they did. That game was fluky for Cal. USC’s defense is overrated and I’m predicting Jahvid Best to go nuts in this game.
No. 8 Oklahoma at No. 17 Miami (FL) I’m not entirely sold on this pick but I couldn’t take it if Miami pulls it off and I have them losing. Oklahoma is overrated and Miami is every bit as athletic as them. Remember when I wasn’t sure a week and a half ago? I’m sure now. Miami is faster than Oklahoma and that’s always a problem for the Sooners. They aren’t a bad team, but they will finish the season 9-3. Guess who the other loss is going to come against. And Sam Bradford’s gonna come out next year and get drafted in the top 10. He will then proceed to sink whatever franchise made that stupid pick. This guy is going to be bad on the JaMarcus Russell/Akili Smith/Ryan Leaf level. He’s worse than Brady Quinn. And if I say it? You can guarantee I’m wrong.
Southern Methodist at No. 11 TCU
New Mexico State at San Diego State I wish Marshall Faulk still played college football.
No. 12 Houston at UTEP Pensacola, FL! Sorry, that’s where Mike Price was when he flushed his career down the tubes. I never understood that. I mean, who cares that he went to a strip club and had sex with two of the strippers? What detail did I miss about this story that made it make sense? Houston will destroy Texas Western in this game. I hope Case Keenum puts up some Jack Pardee-era numbers. Not because I dislike UTEP, I don’t, but because there haven’t been any awesome numbers like that from anyone so far this
Washington State at No. 16 Oregon
Colorado State at Idaho
Note to self: Blogger controls are really stupid. I can't import highlights, bolds, or text colors? Why is that? Any way - figure out a better technique for typing this up next time you do it. Got it me? Got it.