THU, NOV 26
Green Bay at Detroit - Hey, look at that, Detroit won again! Well, Stafford's out, Daunte's in and the Lions are still terrible. Aaron Rodgers should have 4 TDs by the time I wake up. Greg Jennings will have some of that, so will the rapey TE. Ryan Grant will go nuts. Don't trust anyone on the Lions for anything this week. GB defense is a good play but not great due to the being-on-the-road-in-a-dome thing.
Oakland at Dallas - Dallas is a poorly coached team that needs to run more often. They have 3 really good RBs but can't find the heart to give them the ball. If Tony Romo throws more than 35 passes the Cowboys will be really lucky to score more than their new standard 7 points in this game. Give Barber the ball on 1st and 2nd, get Felix Jones the ball on 3rd and every 4th or 5th play throw a pass. The Raiders D is good against the pass but not great against the run. If the Cowboys run a lot they will kill the Raiders. Otherwise they will lose and be embarrassed. At least they won't be the first NFC East team to fuck up against the Raiders this year. Play Zach Miller in this game, he's the closest to a sure thing in this one. And if you have Witten and Miller on your team? Trade Witten to an idiot and keep playing Miller as long as Gradkowski's in there. One of the Raiders backs will have a good game but I don't know which one and you don't either.
NY Giants at Denver - Enough of the Denver stories, ESPN! Nobody cares about the "fight" on the sidelines. Brandon Marshall is a dick and Knowshown Moreno is a fumblor. They both lose! But the argument doesn't mean much. Denver will win this week and there will be stories about them being back on track but then they'll still miss the playoffs again. The Giants will suck again. Kevin Boss and Brandon Jacobs will be good in this game but Brandon Marshall will be the killer. Moreno will probably be OK and that TE whose name I can't remember will be good for the Broncos, I bet. I bet nothing, by the way. It'ss a gentleman's bet. The worst kind. Don't start either QB. I'd be fine riding with the Broncos D for this week. I might put more thought into this game if I cared about who wins it. LT vs. John Elway was a fun Super Bowl, wasn't it?
SUN, NOV 29
Tampa Bay at Atlanta - I kinda like this Freeman kid. KII is one of the best TEs in the league. Derrick Ward might be pretty good numbers wise by the end of the year. I want to believe Tampa will win this game. Not that they can because obviously the Falcons aren't bulletproof. But I don't believe Tampa will win. Matty Icehouse will have a great game throwing to Tony Gonzalez. I don't know who's going to be at RB for the Falcons but they'll get some decent yardage. Roddy White will have a good game.
Miami at Buffalo - The Bills didn't fold to the rushing game last week but this week will be different. Ricky Williams will break them down. He's awesome. Me and him were born on the same day. I'm in his hometown right now watching his college team win. Ricky rules. Buffalo is playing out the string until the draft next year.
Cleveland at Cincinnati - Bengals should take advantage of this opportunity to humiliate the in-state rivals. The Browns are really fucking awful. Cincy is over-hyped and what not but they are way better than Cleveland. And it's getting to the point where every single football fan in the country wants to see Mangini get destroyed. Ced Benson should get 100 yds whether
Seattle at St. Louis - Wowzers, this is a bad game. The Squawks have the talent edge at QB but the Rams have Steven Jackson. I'm sticking with the Rams and guessing Donnie Avery has one of his handful of good games for the year this week.
Carolina at NY Jets - 3-0 to 5-11, what a year of progress. Now they're re-adapting the offense to SanCHEZ's limitations. That seems really bad to me. Shouldn't this work the other way? Like, he should start off limited and then get the full playbook. But that's not happening. The Panthers are idiots and don't run the ball enough even though they only have 3 good players on offense and 2 of them are running backs. This should be a bad game to watch.
Washington at Philadelphia - Philly won't get a ton of offense this week but they will get enough to beat the Redskins. Rock Cartwright is next in line to get injured at RB for the Skins. I'd love to see Santana Moss bust out and I like Fred Davis as a receiving TE but this is dicy. Look for LeSean McCoy to do some damage. You might get some production out of the Eagles other skill players but it's not something to count on.
Indianapolis at Houston - This could be a great game. I would play anybody that's in this game. Look for some tarnish on the Colts "great" defense hype. They aren't a great defense but they're OK. Both offenses in this game are awesome. Should be way OVER if you're gambling and I haven't even looked at the lines once this year. Texans are talented and have some legitimately great players but they have no heart and can't beat anybody with resolve. The Colts are all about resolve. And, yes, Peyton Manning is the best QB of the pass interference era, just past Marino and Montana.
Kansas City at San Diego - Chiefs are suddenly looking more average than terrible. If you play in a league where nobody has picked up Chris Chambers you should feel nothing but shame if you don't win that league. Same for Jamaal Charles. Not great players but good enough to get you some points. The Chargers will put up yardage but they have some problems getting in the end zone. Which is so weird from LdT's employers but that's where he is in his career.
Jacksonville at San Francisco - Alex Smith is going to be OK. San Francisco needs to avoid the temptation to look for another signal caller. His arm has gotten stronger than it was in college. He needs to cut down the turnovers but he gets rid of the ball quickly and he's got some talent around him. MJD will rock it. Garrard is actually OK but the team owner is already pining for a new QB. Stupid. I like Michael Crabtree a lot. He's as good as he seemed like he would be two years ago.
Chicago at Minnesota - I think I get what the Vikings are doing. Save Peterson for the end of the season and get all the use they can out of Favre. Otherwise they're a bunch of idiots. Good fuck Chicago sucks. Specifically Matt Forte. Cutler might get some sort of pass for only throwing 2 INTs this week but he's not in a good place this season. Are there any WRs this year comparable to Cabtree? Maybe that kid from Georgia Tech. He's awesome. Any way, Vikings should totally trash the Bears.
Arizona at Tennessee - I think the Titans will take it over here. The Cards are more talented overall but Warner should sit this one out. The Titans D is back to normal and that's not gonna help the Cards. Chris Johnson is starting to look like Barry Sanders. And Vince Young is starting to look like he did at Texas. Tennessee is coming into the playoff picture. They're out of frame but they're jacking off in range to shoot on the Bengals. They could end up being a wild card this year after totally sucking for the first 6 weeks of the season.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore - Battle of the Disappointments. Which one has been exposed more? I like Balmer better so I'm going with the Ravens. How can anyone take their defense seriously these days? They're all in their 10th plus season, aren't they? Pittsburgh looks terrible whenever Troy Polamalu doesn't play and he's out for 6 weeks. Good bye, champs.
MON, NOV 30
New England at New Orleans - Game of the year! I'm dying to watch this and I feel like something is going to go wrong and I'll miss it. I love the way the Saints play and I like that they've finally gotten something out of Reggie Bush. Remember after their rookie season when him and Vince Young both seemed like they were going to be stars? I finally believe that again. Just now, this week. Seriously. I am a pessimist by nature and am not really expecting a Saints win but it's more than a possibility. The test here is how the Saints defense plays. Can they do their turnover thing against the Patriots? I think they can. The Patriots are not as good as they've been in the past. They're killers against terrible teams but they're over the hill. Belicek might be close to hanging it up. I hope they make the same mistake as other teams in the NFL and hire a Patriots assistant to replace him because then they'll turn into a shitty team right away. I think all sports fans outside of the Boston area can get beind that idea.