Friday, November 13, 2009

Heisman Gangbang For the second Saturday in November

Ryan Mathews is still #1 in my mind and in my heart but I doubt the jerkwads who vote for the Heisman will see it my way at all.  I've got a fast riser on the list but I doubt he will make it through the weekend intact.  Jimmy Clausen is gone.  Thank you Navy for aligning my conscience and my intellect.  These are my imaginary votes for the Heisman up until this point in the season.  If I could vote for the awards, this would be my ballot.  And then there are some others considered at the end.  I am crunched for time and will not have links to stats/profiles for the players so just bear with me.  I might come back later and add links but probably not.

1.) Ryan Mathews, RB, Fresno State - Easily the best running back in the country based on performance.  Pretty much the most entertaining player as well.  I don't have any criteria for "best" that trumps those two.  If you have to go to a sports bar to watch this guy play you should do it.  Mark Ingram is pretty good, too, but this is the fucking show right here.  Does he play weak competition?  Sure, a little bit weak.  But his best game of the year was against Boise State.  They're pretty good.  And he destroyed them with 3 runs of over 60 yds in the same game.  CSUF lost but that's not even close to Mathews' fault.  This guy is The REAL Jesus of college football (TRJ for short).

2.) Case Keenum, QB, Houston - I'm almost as much in the bag for this guy as I am for Mathews.  That game last week was awesome and Keenum definitely kept hope alive.  That and the guy who dropped the onside kick at the end.  Case Keenum was still the guy that put UH in position to win on the last second FG.  If you haven't seen Keenum play and you still hold onto the antiquated notion that Houston runs a run & shoot and their QBs can't hack it in the league, fuck you.  Watch him play and try to give logical reasons as to why Colt McCoy's weak arm and questionable decisions are more deserving of a Heisman vote.  Houston is fun to watch so do it.

3.) Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama - I give up.  I watched him trucking defenders against UT-Knoxville and it clicked for me.  OK, Ingram winning the Heisman is perfectly legitimate.  Now I'm thawing on my stance that he doesn't deserve it because he isn't the best player on his team.  I like Richardson long-term a lot better but this guy is really fucking good.  Shaun Alexander good but with a much better team around him.  Why am I selling Mount Cody down the river like this?  I'm not, he's #4.

4.) Terrence Cody, DL, Alabama - This guy might be a bust in the NFL but I'd be surprised.  First of all, he won't get drafted as highly as his rep would make it seem.  Second of all, being a big fatass with good quickness is pretty much what you need to play D-Line.  Third, he's reaaaaaalllllllllly fat.  He reminds me of Sam Adams, which is good.  Sam Adams played in the NFL starting in 1776 and just retired a year or two ago.

5.) Toby Gerhart, RB, Stanford - Good show, Touchdown Tommy II, you destroyed Oregon.  Chris Owusu is awesome and Andy Luck frees up a lot for Gerhart but it was Toby chucking Oregon defenders all over the place and scoring over and over and over.  I am a little bit hesitant to put him higher because I have a bad feeling about what USC's defense will do tomorrow but if the season were over now, Toby would get a vote from me.

Tim Tebow, QB, Florida - He's got the opps to move up and the whole season for the Gators actually hinges on the SEC championship so I wouldn't really mind if Tebow ends up winning the thing even though he's bored me all year and can't throw the ball without shotputting it.

Bernard Pierce, RB, Temple - He deserves consideration but I don't think he's better than the other guys I've written up here.  He could move up.  Wait til next year, you will hear of him.