Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Turn Off The Internets

I'm a bad writer. I'm bad at a lot of things but most of them are meaningless. I think I have some kind of desire to fail in my life. I have had a ton of time to get something done and make a direction for my life but I've never sold any of my own ideas. The stuff I have sold were adaptations and the one thing I wrote for Marcello Thedford, the horrible movie that I never got paid for, the basic premise was his idea. I wrote that stack of shit paper in 3 days, though, so it doesn't need to take that much time to bang out a draft. I'm using that as a challenge. I've got til Saturday night to finish another draft of my werewolf script. I mean it. Really I do. Shut up, Tori Amos.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Mindless Entertainment

Nothing I said in this online customer support conversation is untrue. Still, I did it more for transgression than for any honest need for customer service. Sigh. Medium Raw: Night of the Wolf isn't gonna watch itself. So I'm gonna Eifling the shit out of the rest of this post. Copy and paste:
Thomas (ID: K8Y) (Responding)
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Hi, my name is Thomas (ID: K8Y). How may I help you?
Steven Starkweather: Can you figure out a way for me to not have to reset my f$#*ing g**$amn set top box every time I want to use the stupid watch anywhere features that your company sold me on to get me to sign a 2-year contract?
Steven Starkweather: My DVR appears to be offline
Steven Starkweather: Again
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I’m sorry to hear that you are having an issue with the web site.
Steven Starkweather: I just spent a damn hour and half on this stupid chat maybe 4 days ago for the same problem
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I know that this can be frustrating I have had this happen to me.  I’d be happy to resolve that for you Stevem.
Steven Starkweather: It's a hardware problem, not a website problem
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Sorry Steven.
Steven Starkweather: It really bothers me that I am being charged by your company in bad faith
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Yes you are correct it is the receiver doing this.
Steven Starkweather: If your products don't work as advertised then you are failing to live up to your contract and you need to release me from my contract with no penalties
Thomas (ID: K8Y): But that is because the soft wear has an issue.
Steven Starkweather: OK, then you need to do more testing of the software before you release it
Thomas (ID: K8Y): We know about this problem with this receiver and are working on a update.
Steven Starkweather: That doesn't do me any good until it is released
Steven Starkweather: That just tells me that your company is willfully releasing malfunctioning equipment
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry a new receiver will do the same thing.
Steven Starkweather: I get that. Again, that means I signed up for your service under false pretenses
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry that this issue was not told you.
Steven Starkweather: I need something more than instructions (for the third time) on how to reset the box. I need compensation for the waste of time and the aggravation that comes with this.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): We are hoping by the next update this will be fixed.
Steven Starkweather: Oh, come on, is there some kind of company rep who is going around telling people before they sign up, "This service we advertise and have built up out customer base by advertising doesn't actually work the way it's advertised. Hope that's not a problem!"?
Thomas (ID: K8Y): We do not have a time of release yet for that update.
Steven Starkweather: That's fine, but you need to credit my bill for the huge waste of time that trying to make this shit work the way it's supposed to work has turned out to be.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): The sales rep are told to sale they do not have access to this information.
Steven Starkweather: This conversation is kind of amazing. You're telling me that the company is knowingly selling faulty equipment. If we had some kind of regulatory commission who gave a damn about stuff like this I'd go make a complaint to them.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): The sling works the site has some issue and some receiver have some issues.  This is not release do to it will be fixed.
Steven Starkweather: But it's not fixed now and you've been taking my money for it under the guise that it works the way it's supposed to. That is a malfeasant act
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I understand it not work properly with your receive now.
Steven Starkweather: I know. You understand. Great. Make it right. Give me some type of credit or something
Thomas (ID: K8Y): The only thing you can do is return the Sling for a full refund if you want.
Steven Starkweather: But I would have to pay shipping charges on that. So I'd still lose money.
Steven Starkweather: And I'm still locked into a 2-year contract that was signed under false premise
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Once the update is release you can buy the sling back and be able to use the online service.
Steven Starkweather: Do you understand the saying that time is money? The fact that I have already lost x amount of time messing around with this means that I am not getting the service I am paying for whether it works or not (heavily siding on the not side) which represents a monetary loss to me.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry that you had to spend a lot of time regarding this issue.
Steven Starkweather: Your apology is touching but doesn't actually mean anything. I heard horror stories about Dish before I signed on but thought you couldn't be any worse than DirecTV. I was clearly wrong.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry you fill that way.
Steven Starkweather: Fill that way? Did you just call me fat?
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Feel that way.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Sorry for the spelling error.
Steven Starkweather: It's ok.
Thomas (ID: K8Y): The only thing I can try to do is send you a new receiver but it will have the same soft wear.  But it might fix the problem.
Steven Starkweather: You already said it wouldn't fix the problem?
Thomas (ID: K8Y): Correct but that is the only thing I can do for you.
Steven Starkweather: Seriously? No programming credits or anything? The big problem is that is messes with my ability to use your products
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry no we do not charge for access to the website.
Steven Starkweather: Ah, well, what can I say. I hate your company. I'm not going to send back the receiver or whatever other b.s. because that's just running to a standstill and adds 3 or 4 more layers of aggravation to my already exceptionally dissatisfying overall experience with Dish
Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am very sorry about all this frustration.
Steven Starkweather: I'm gonna disconnect now and try to make my DVR sync with my online account again. Maybe I'll run into you again later tonight when that doesn't work or only works for 15 minutes. My hopes aren't high
Steven Starkweather: If you aren't my next c.s. rep, have a good night
Thomas (ID: K8Y): You too.
You have disconnected.