It's too late to predict anything in the Dolphins - Panthers game. I would have, for the record, chosen the Dolphins and said Ricky Williams is going to have a big game. That didn't happen soon enough, though, so this is what you'll get. Ricky Williams just totally beasted the Panthers defense and now his yardage looks amazing. Good game, Ricky, you have the greatest birthday of all time. Great announcing, btw. Ricky Williams needs to play like he did in New Orleans? You mean back when everyone thought he was a bust? His best years came in Miami. If you've got him, I'm sure you're fine with it.
I was 10-5 on my game predictions last week, so I'm 50-32 for the year. That would be a 10-6 average season, which would get some coaches into the HOF. Even though it looks like two playoff appearances with no wins. The New Browns would take that. Purple wins and I'm not even going to take credit for the Dolphins thing so I'll just skip it entirely.
Miami at Carolina - NO PICK
Washington at Dallas - Dallas looked ridiculous against Green Bay. I wish I could talk to Jerry Jones about his coaching but I'm pretty sure he would just keep pretending that Wade Phillips is the playcaller. I wold tell Mr. Jones that his team is built to run and he needs to trust the running game for much longer than he did last Sunday. If you go 3 and out every drive in the first half, keep running the ball. You will pick it up eventually and you will score. Your passing offense is a bit of a sham. Having said all that, I don't think Marion Barber is a very good play this week. Ladell Betts is a great start and Fred Davis should be a good option if you need a TE. Neiter QB is a safe play. I don't know who's healthy enough to trust on the Redskins but Santana Moss has destroyed the Cowboys a few times in his career.
Cleveland at Detroit - I'm going with Detroit. They're similarly talented to the Ravens on offense and the Browns offense couldn't score consistently against high school teams. I reject Gregg Easterbrook's valuation of play calling entirely. Good play calling may not be statistically difficult but it is significant. Eric Mangini is a bad coach. If you've got anybody from either of these teams you know what to do with them. Trade Megatron now before he becomes Braylon Edwards, Pt. II: "Roy Williams, Pt. III" and is untradeable. That only applies to keeper leagues, obviously.
San Francisco at Green Bay - I don't think that game against the Cowboys was a total mirage but I don't think it's a good representation of what the Packers defense should be expected to do from here on, either. If you've got Vernon Davis, he's a great play. If you have Aaron Rodgers, Ryan Grant, Greg Jennings, or even Spence Havner, you'll be fine here. Frank Gore will get more than 16 carries and that means he will get a good amount of points. Fuck you, Cowboys.
Pittsburgh at Kansas City - I was really trying to justify picking the Chiefs but I can't do it. If they win that's awesome but don't pretend it makes sense afterwards. The Chiefs aren't particularly good at anything. Chris Chambers looked good last week but is still Chris Chambers. Bowe is out, though, so if you need a WR for this week, Chambers is as good as you'll find. Mendenhall, Wallace, Miller, Rapelisbergere, Ward and the Steelers D seem like fantastic plays for this week.
Atlanta at NY Giants - I've never though all that much of Michael Turner and the Giants were terrible before their bye. The bye week always helps, though, unless your whole team is fucked up. The Giants only real weak spot is their massively average QB. Even Kevin Boss might look like a champ this week.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay - The Saints are in that position where they might be trying too hard to stay undefeated. It's a dumb excuse to say that teams need to lose a game to get it out of their systems. The Saints should keep winning as much as they can under all circumstances. But their games will be much closer than they should be from here on out. Like this game. Remember that if they win by 100. They should have won by 200. KII is the only safe play on the Bucs. But I'd put in Carnell Williams if I had him.
Buffalo at Jacksonville - This is a perfect game for Buffalo to win. They aren't a bad team, they just play so conservatively. They should be running it 35-40 times a game while switching backs almost constantly. And they should throw deep a lot. Lee Evans is good. Make it work, coach whose name I can't remember! Of course, he's a DC so he will be a terrible offensive coach. MJD will have the same over-the-top kind of game he seems to have every week. But Buffalo will get some fake hope this week.
Indianapolis at Baltimore - Yes! This is the kind of game Indy can lose! I want a matchup of 18-0 teams in the Super Bowl but the odds are verrrrrry against it. The Ravens need to win and they will run a lot against the Colts. I bet this is way more high-scoring than whatever the O/U indicates. Play Flacco this week. Seriously.
Seattle at Minnesota - Seattle started off like they were going to win last week. That was cute. The Minnesota Vikings will forcibly gay marriage their asses this week, though. It is going to get really gay in the Target City Metrodome. Brett Favre is sure to throw lots of passes after the Vikings have the game rolled up and every single member of the Vikings roster and coaching staff will pick a member of the opposing organization and have sex with them. Gay. Real Gay. Adrian Peterson will spurt all over the field and force the Seahawks players to drink it.
Arizona at St. Louis - Arizona should have a better record. I hope they keep giving it to Beanie Wells because he's good. And the Rams aren't. Supposedly, according to an ESPN article I read earlier, Donnie Avery is a good start this week. I wouldn't be surprised if the Rams have one of their 112 yds total offense style games.
NY Jets at New England - High score of the week. Belichek was making a decent call when he went for it on 4th & 2 last week. He called the wrong play, but the underlying theory was sound. Randy Moss will score 4 of the Patriots 16 TDs this week. I wouldn't even start Thomas Jones on the Jets this week. So wait for the Ex-Titans win.
Cincinnati at Oakland - I picked up Larry Johnson hoping he would go to a team with no obvious starter at RB. Ced Benson might be on his way back to Ced Benson-land now after his injury. So LJ could be a good pickup for two weeks from now. I don't trust any of the Raiders RBs because they don't seem to have a team understanding of why any of the three is getting the ball on a given play. Look for Gradkowski to make Jamarcus Russell look like a legit NFL starter.
San Diego at Denver - The Broncos are fading and the Chargers are pretty OK. Denver's D is not great but the Chargers will not have great yardage in this game. Look for Vincent Jackson to suck again this week against Champ Bailey because Vincent Jackson isn't really great. Antonio Gates is awesome, and he'll be the best player in this game.
Philadelphia at Chicago - Philly is inconsistent but the Bears aren't good enough to make that matter. McNabb will not be super-awesome this week but he'll be good. LeSean McCoy is just as good as Brian Westbrook, which is why it's really dumb that Westbrook was playing when he got another concussion last week. Look for a Flipper Anderson style breakout game from DeSean Jackson. Fuck the Bears.
MON, NOV 23
Tennessee at Houston - I like the Titans to keep it going. Especially CJ. Watch this game if you want to see the all-time record for yds rushing in a game get challenged. If you play in a league that gives you points for KR yards you have to pick up Jacoby Jones. He is maybe the 4th option on most plays but he gets some receiving yards and the Texans give up a ton of points, so he gets lots of return yards, with the off chance that he returns one for a TD. Vince Young needs to be awesome for 7 straight games at least before I'd consider starting him. Andre Johnson is my favorite WR in the league and he should be more or less healthy this week. Still, Titans are more legit as a good team than they were as a fluky bad team.