Happy St. Nicholas Day, everybody! I'm done worrying about the past and history and all that bullshit. I'm here to give you what you really want: half-considered, zero-research, football comedy gold!
SUN, DEC 6
Philadelphia at Atlanta - Two teams I don't trust. Is Chris Redman playing again this week? He's got a very poor track record. I'll go with the Iggles here to start their annual acceleration past the Dallas Romos. I wish Philly fans could just get over themselves and admit McNabb is the best QB they've had since Randall Cunningham before the broken leg. Maybe Philly fans do get it and it's just atrocius reporting by the national sports media set that makes him seem under-appreciated. I don't have a clue as to who is out for this game but the birds will definitely win.
St. Louis at Chicago - Wow, this is a bad thing for the whole country. Steven Jackson should go for big yardage and I keep waiting for Matt Forte to get the ball as much as 3 times in a single drive so I can get a better read on whether he's a bad player or if the Bears play selection is just so wretched that everyone on the offense is suffering. Donnie Avery is untouchable. Bears pass catchers aren't a terrible place to look for easy points.
Detroit at Cincinnati - Matt Stafford should be shut down for the year but the Lions want to make sure they don't have a long-term investment on their hands. This should be an OK spot for points. The Bengals defense is over-rated.
Oakland at Pittsburgh - Fuck the Steelers. They look terrible without Polamalu. Zach Miller and Michale Bush are legit plays in this game.
Tennessee at Indianapolis = We won't have two 18-0 teams. I hope we do but I keep questioning the Colts. I don't trust any of them for huge numbers this week but you've got to play them all just in case. Please, let's see Chris Johnson break the 300 yd barrier soon.
Denver at Kansas City - Let's go Chiefs!
New England at Miami
New Orleans at Washington
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Houston at Jacksonville
San Diego at Cleveland
Dallas at NY Giants
San Francisco at Seattle
Minnesota at Arizona
MON, DEC 7
Baltimore at Green Bay - I'm tired and bereft of ratonal thouhjt