If you had any stock in Kevin Kolb, week 1 was a disaster for you. I personally expected Kolb to be this year's newly anointed superstar. Maybe week 3 can help with that. My game picks were a mediocre 10-6, good enough to make the playoffs or even win the NFC West by 6 games, but not exactly Super Bowl contending material. I was correct in saying you should have started every offensive player you could in the Houston v. Indy game but then bizarrely highlighted Philadelphia against Green Bay. Be careful what you do with this opinformation I'm giving you. Remember, these are not picks against the spread just straight up winners & losers. Just understand what you're getting from the comedy corporation.
SUN, SEP 19Pittsburgh at Tennessee
Pittsburgh eeked out a shitty win in week 1. I don’t think my 6-10 is going to come true for them but there’s still time. Chris Johnson might be the truth and I’m definitely a fan. Mr. Heisman-Runner-Up to (Redacted) has turned it all the way around, I believe. I can’t pick the Steelers and that’s probably more my heart than my head but Dennis Dixon vs. the Titans? Remember the Titans?
Miami at Minnesota
This is a weird game because on the face of it the Vikings should win easily. But they looked rough last week against the Saints and the Dolphins are a decent team. I’m calling it a win for Miami and a ton of over-reaction for the Vikings. The best play in this game is probably Ronnie Brown or Ricky Williams but I don’t know which one and you don’t either. Favre and Henne will both be OK but I would be surprised if there’s a lot of offense in this game.
Arizona at Atlanta
Here’s where the offense will be. Look for Matt Ryan to have his best game ever. And the defenses aren’t bad, keep in mind, it’s just that these two teams will try to engage each other in a track meet. I’m guessing, obviously, because there isn’t a lot of data to go on, but I think the over is a good bet and the stud WRs will all be good plays, as will Michael Turner.
Baltimore at Cincinnati
This game will be terrible. Look at the Jets game last week and expect almost the same everything from the Ravens this week. I’m sitting Ced Benson where I own him, so I’ll be looking for a 200-yd, 6 TD performance out of him.
Kansas City at Cleveland
This one actually should be pretty fun to watch. It should be good for about 500 yds of rushing combined for the two teams since they are both loaded at RB and horrible at QB.
Chicago at Dallas
Dallas is the perfect team to choke out a loss here but I bet the Bears won’t let them. I’m going all in with the Cowboys players from a fantasy perspective. I won’t look up the line but I’d take the Cowboys and the under, just on a gut feeling. Line’s probably 22 with an over/under of 23.
Philadelphia at Detroit
Vick vs. the Lions. Vick's more familiar with fighting against dogs but this time around he won't end up in prison. Philly rightfully gets the highlight this week and Vick will probably be the permanent starter by the end of week 3. I might like to see this game but will probably go frolic with puppies or buy a balloon instead. It's Sunday, you know? You gotta take advantage of your times off.
Buffalo at Green Bay
I didn't mean to pick against Green bay last week. I'm not sure why I did. They should be able to score 50 this week, so use your Packers players wisely. If you are starting even a single Buffalo Bill, right down to whoever is kicking for them, you are losing.
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Awful Bowl 2010. They play each other twice a year so... I don't know. Avoid this game twice a year? I love KII. He's good. Supposedly Matt Moore is good but I have no reason to believe it and I don't feel the need to find out if it's true at this point. Maybe when it's colder.
Seattle at Denver
This is the most boring seeming thing I could do with a Sunday afternoon. The Squawks wrecked the 49ers last week but the Bills have had a bunch of great starts to seasons in the last 10 years and they never left the basement level of the league's standings. I'm starting Kyle Orton this week, I'll tell you that much. Keep an eye on Deon Butler for Seattle. If he gets more than 1 target a game he might score more than 1 TD. I'm also interested to see if the fat Mike Williams is now a legitimate NFL player or if Pete Carroll just gave him the looks in week 1 to fuck with him later on. Denver will win forever on Petey in this game.
St. Louis at Oakland
The Battle of Los Angeles! Darren McFadden had his best game of the year last week so look for Michael Bush to get the carries this week. I didn't mean DMC had his best game so far, I'm counting on that being the best game he has all year. Sam Bradford looked good last week but threw a bunch of INTs. I think he'll be a good pro but, for this year, he's going to continue to toss those INTs around like business cards.
Houston at Washington
This is a fascinating match up. The perhaps entirely lumpen Washington Redskins aren't built very well for very many matchups in the NFL but I think they can handle the Texans fairly well. Except for Andre Johnson. That guy needs to make up for last week. I really don't know if anyone is worth a start on the Redskins. I'm picking them to get their second straight upset before the losing kicks in.
New England at NY Jets
New England wins easily and they only win one way, so figure Wes Welker and Randy Moss both go for 120+ yds in addition to whatever other yards the other skill guys get so figure for yourself what that means for Brady's numbers, Einstein. After 2 weeks, the Champs will be 0-2 with 2 conference losses, 2 home losses and an 0-1 divisional record. Let's hear it for the champs!
Jacksonville at San Diego
I'm tempted to take the Alualu's. Jacksonville might not reach the dregs this year. They might not. Ryan Mathews is going to get his yards, though. David Garrard is not entirely awfulness. He's not even really bad but he's also noot great. Doesn't he have Croehn's or something? I think he does. Something like that. Hurray for him being a hero. I'm just delaying for myself the final decision I must make. Forget it - I'm going with another road team.
NY Giants at Indianapolis
For all the annoyance that will be created by Eli vs. Peyton (what's the drill with those Peyton is injured rumors, btw?) this looks like one of the best regular season matchups possible this year. I hate the Giants but I think they're the only NY/NJ team with a shot at playing in this year's Super Bowl. I really like their offensive personnel. The Colts are letting their dominance slip away by having Jim Caldwell coaching the team. They'll string it along OK this season if Peyton holds up. But they are on some rotten ice. The Giants could rush for about 300 yds in this game.
MON, SEP 20New Orleans at San Francisco
My heart's not in this pick at all. New Orleans makes me like the NFL but San Francisco was my preseason league shocker pick. Looks like the 49ers are going to be the ones getting fisted, however, by the league. They might like that, who knows?, but you don't have to stand for it. Poor organization in the 49ers offices let the whole offseason go by without grabbing Donovan McNabb or Jason Campbell while they were available. The defense is great but might get burned by bad offense. At least until the OC is gone. This won't be the blowout week 1 made it seem like it should be but the Saints shouldn't have to sweat too much, either. Pierre Thomas ftw.
Good night and good luck with your fantasy and gambling strategies.