Nothing I said in this online customer support conversation is untrue. Still, I did it more for transgression than for any honest need for customer service. Sigh. 
Medium Raw: Night of the Wolf isn't gonna watch itself. So I'm gonna Eifling the shit out of the rest of this post. Copy and paste:
  
Thomas (ID: K8Y) (Responding)
  
  Thomas (ID: K8Y): Hi, my name is Thomas (ID: K8Y). How may I help  you?

  Steven Starkweather: Can you figure out a way for me to not have to  reset my f$#*ing g**$amn set top box every time I want to use the  stupid watch anywhere features that your company sold me on to get  me to sign a 2-year contract?

  Steven Starkweather: My DVR appears to be offline

  Steven Starkweather: Again

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): I’m sorry to hear that you are having an issue  with the web site.

  Steven Starkweather: I just spent a damn hour and half on this  stupid chat maybe 4 days ago for the same problem

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): I know that this can be frustrating I have had  this happen to me.  I’d be happy to resolve that for you  Stevem.

  Steven Starkweather: It's a hardware problem, not a website  problem

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): Sorry Steven.

  Steven Starkweather: It really bothers me that I am being charged by  your company in bad faith

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): Yes you are correct it is the receiver doing  this.

  Steven Starkweather: If your products don't work as advertised then  you are failing to live up to your contract and you need to release  me from my contract with no penalties

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): But that is because the soft wear has an issue.

  Steven Starkweather: OK, then you need to do more testing of the  software before you release it

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): We know about this problem with this receiver and  are working on a update.

  Steven Starkweather: That doesn't do me any good until it is  released

  Steven Starkweather: That just tells me that your company is  willfully releasing malfunctioning equipment

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry a new receiver will do the same  thing.

  Steven Starkweather: I get that. Again, that means I signed up for  your service under false pretenses

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry that this issue was not told you.

  Steven Starkweather: I need something more than instructions (for  the third time) on how to reset the box. I need compensation for the  waste of time and the aggravation that comes with this.

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): We are hoping by the next update this will be  fixed.

  Steven Starkweather: Oh, come on, is there some kind of company rep  who is going around telling people before they sign up, "This  service we advertise and have built up out customer base by  advertising doesn't actually work the way it's advertised. Hope  that's not a problem!"?

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): We do not have a time of release yet for that  update.

  Steven Starkweather: That's fine, but you need to credit my bill for  the huge waste of time that trying to make this shit work the way  it's supposed to work has turned out to be.

  Thomas (ID: K8Y): The sales rep are told to sale they do not have  access to this information. 

  Steven Starkweather: This conversation is kind of amazing. You're  telling me that the company is knowingly selling faulty equipment.  If we had some kind of regulatory commission who gave a damn about  stuff like this I'd go make a complaint to them.
  
 Thomas (ID: K8Y): The sling works the site has some issue and some receiver have some issues.  This is not release do to it will be fixed.

 Steven Starkweather: But it's not fixed now and you've been taking my money for it under the guise that it works the way it's supposed to. That is a malfeasant act
  
 Thomas (ID: K8Y): I understand it not work properly with your receive now.

 Steven Starkweather: I know. You understand. Great. Make it right. Give me some type of credit or something

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): The only thing you can do is return the Sling for a full refund if you want.

 Steven Starkweather: But I would have to pay shipping charges on that. So I'd still lose money.

 Steven Starkweather: And I'm still locked into a 2-year contract that was signed under false premise
  
 Thomas (ID: K8Y): Once the update is release you can buy the sling back and be able to use the online service.

 Steven Starkweather: Do you understand the saying that time is money? The fact that I have already lost x amount of time messing around with this means that I am not getting the service I am paying for whether it works or not (heavily siding on the not side) which represents a monetary loss to me.

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry that you had to spend a lot of time regarding this issue.

 Steven Starkweather: Your apology is touching but doesn't actually mean anything. I heard horror stories about Dish before I signed on but thought you couldn't be any worse than DirecTV. I was clearly wrong.

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry you fill that way.
 
 Steven Starkweather: Fill that way? Did you just call me fat?
 
 Thomas (ID: K8Y): Feel that way.

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): Sorry for the spelling error.

 Steven Starkweather: It's ok.

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): The only thing I can try to do is send you a new receiver but it will have the same soft wear.  But it might fix the problem.

 Steven Starkweather: You already said it wouldn't fix the problem?

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): Correct but that is the only thing I can do for you.

 Steven Starkweather: Seriously? No programming credits or anything? The big problem is that is messes with my ability to use your products

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am sorry no we do not charge for access to the website. 

 Steven Starkweather: Ah, well, what can I say. I hate your company. I'm not going to send back the receiver or whatever other b.s. because that's just running to a standstill and adds 3 or 4 more layers of aggravation to my already exceptionally dissatisfying overall experience with Dish

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): I am very sorry about all this frustration. 

 Steven Starkweather: I'm gonna disconnect now and try to make my DVR sync with my online account again. Maybe I'll run into you again later tonight when that doesn't work or only works for 15 minutes. My hopes aren't high

 Steven Starkweather: If you aren't my next c.s. rep, have a good night

 Thomas (ID: K8Y): You too.
 
 You have disconnected.
 
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