Friday, October 16, 2009

Heisman dance

I should have written this earlier, before the Jesus Lizard concert, before I was ready to sleep. I am not thinking about college football right now but I set myself a goal and I'm going to live up to this one. These are the guys I think should win the Heisman. The guys I would vote for. I don't have a lot to add this week. Maybe I will after Saturday' games? Nobody looked great to me in the last 7 days. The Cincinatti v. USF game already happened and Tony Pike got hurt. He didn't look like a front runner before that but if UC had won the game 34-17 with him back there the whole time? I would have put him up to #2. I've got a new #1 this week as much out of defiance as out of belief. I can't keep flogging for Jimmy Clausen when I don't expect him to hold it together for two more days. So here's the updated list of how I would vote if I could:

1) Terrence "Mt." Cody, DT, Alabama - Yeah, I sticking with this one. 'Bama is the best team in the country right now and it is, in large part, because of this big motherfucker. He's the best player in the country. I know all about Suh and Tebow and Colt McCoy. I've seen Jake Locker and Tony Pike. I know ESPN decided this week that Mark Ingram is "in the conversation" now. And I know some people are starting to talk more about the LBs and DBs behind Mt. Cody than they are talking about the big man. But I've watched 'Bama this year. I watched them last year. Everything they do great on defense is because this guy eats up the middle of the field. I'm sorry to fall into football cliche, but this guy effectively wipes out at least two blockers on every play he's in the game. He will not pile up sacks like USF's Defensive Ends but he doesn't need to. Everybody else gets to look awesome because they are running around unblocked for the Tide. I'm sticking with it. This is the best player in the country.

2) Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame - This is the best offensive player in the nation so far. But I'm expecting USC to destroy Notre Dame. Clausen will probably actually be OK. But he will also be a bit exposed. He might still be a contender afterwards. That makes me think I don't trust him as much as I should if I'm going to rank him #1.

3) Tim Tebow, QB, Florida - Gay Jesus has not been fun to watch this year. I feel like it's cheating for him to beat Herschel Walker's TD record because of the extra games he's played and the inclusion of bowl statistics in career records now. But then I remember he's a fucking quarterback who averages more than 1 rushing TD per game and I think, "Maybe this is actually a lot more impressive than Walker." Understand that Herschel Walker is one of my favorite athletes of all time and I don't really love Tebow. I always liked watching Percy (still do) and just kind of accepted that Tebow is the star. I'm not as sold on that as I have been in the past. Percy is the best player to go through UF's program since Emmitt Smith. But Tebow has some kind of effect on his team that I've never seen before. It's like his teammates are trying to not let him down more than they're even playing for themselves. And Florida is really fucking good.

4) Ryan Mathews, RB, Fresno State - This running back, at the other FSU (even though they're really CSUF), is awesome. I wish more people would watch a Fresno game. He is worth it all by himself.

5) Noel Devine, RB, West Virginia - This is a little bit of projection and a little bit of ignoring what anybody who doesn't watch Big East football has to say about Big East football. Watch some of the games in this conference when you have the chance. You'll have the chance because they (Big East teams) play all kinds of oddly scheduled national TV games. The Big East is probably legitimately the second best conference in the country, top-to-bottom. Better than the Big 12 and the Pac 10 and, most definitely, the Big 10. The ACC has only two good teams so just forget about them for now. Noel Devine pops off the screen like one of those stupid commercials for whatever "new" HD technology is in a certain TV or cable/satellite receiver. Devine looks like he's twice as fast as anybody on the field at all times. And the Big East is loaded with good athletes. Just wait 'til the Big East goes undefeated in bowl games this year. The thing I'm trying to get across here is that Noel Devine makes a lot of really great college players look like they're slow enough to start in the Big 10. And he's got moves. And he doesn't fumble. He's Warrick Dunn but faster. And Warrick Dunn was really fucking fast. I'm not bringing numbers into the discussion. My voting is based on what I see. Noel Devine is my favorite player in college football and will probably end up higher on this list as the year progresses.

Other names:

Todd Reesing, QB, Kansas - I meant to put him in the Top 5, I really did. You know who was the one I waffled over the most? Tebow. That's not logical because I have Tebow #3. But I don't like watching him play. I don't love watching Kansas play, either, but the Big 12 has (as I've previously mentioned) a tendency to run up the score as much as possible. So Reesing is involved in lots of fun/funny moments by virtue of his team passing constantly. But I can't bring myself to say Reesing is the better player. I don't believe in Reesing that much.

Jacory Harris, QB, Miami - Ah, Jacory, where will this end up? I'd like to believe that you are Kenny Dorsey's black ghost. And that would mean a 1 loss team that gets jobbed out of the chance to play for a national title this year, your sophomore year. Does that mean a fight with the Gators on Bourbon Street before you guys blow the doors off the UF boys on the field? But I don't get quite that good of a feeling about this team. The Canes are the fastest team in the country overall (UF's offense is faster than Miami's offense) but they aren't quite dominating. Jacory threw 2 picks against obviously inferior opposition last week and I feel Whiplash when he says the offense is not running all that smoothly just yet. Jacory is the calm in the eye of the Hurricanes (drrr...) and they should get through to the bowls with only two losses. I remain optimistic that Jacory can mimic Dorsey's junior year and win a national title.

Brandon Spikes, LB, Florida - Fucking awesome.

Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama - Sure, why not? He's pretty great but I stand by my assessment that he and Trent Richardson are interchangeable parts.

Colt McCoy, QB, Texas - Soft tosser! He is going to end up winning the award, just watch, but it doesn't mean he's great. Eric Crouch won the award and he wasn't even good in college. He's not the best player on UT but all the great players on the team divide up the big plays so much that the QB ends up being involved in way more than anyone else. UT-Austin is absolutely loaded for Big 12 football. They're overrated, though, and will get rolled over by UF if that's the title game. Cincinnati, USC, Virginia Tech, and Alabama could hang with them, too.

That's all I'm doing. Fuck Jordan Shipley. Ryan Williams, Case Keenum, Golden Tate and Ndamukong Suh all deserved write-ups but it's 2 in the morning and I don't care that much.

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