Look, this is not the NFL post that anybody wants to read. It is a dull procedural that would do well in primetime on CBS. However, it is not in primetime on CBS because it is a blog post.
TV Theme Songs - Law And Order
Are you ready for a year of low scores and terrible games? I don't have any reason to think this year will be like that but one should always prepare for the worst. You come here to read about college football, mostly, and to sell dick pills. But I write about all kinds of stuff here: being bored, being depressed, being football, being sure that Victor Ortiz will beat Money Mayweather. This NFL column is just one facet of who I am.
First off, let's get the table out of the way. I don't know how to craft a fancy table but I can do this:
Now, the first thing that will probably stand out here is that everything I've got in the table above is complete nonsense. I will be thrilled for Panthers fans if their team can go 1-15 and only be the second worst team in the league. The entire NFC East is at .500 in their division. Cleveland is the top seed in the AFC! Wonders never cease. This is all silly. I get fascinated by particular teams and then get to the end and realize it's probably not going to happen. Last year I had the 49ers at 13-3. So the Browns can look forward to that.
I didn't do the kind of research or “projecting” to have any room to say the things that follow but I will predict the awards:
MVP: Aaron Rodgers, QB, Packers
DPOY: Nnamdi Asomugha
ROY: Julio Jones
Rushing leader: Darren McFadden
Peyton Manning will come back after the Colts bye-week.
Ricky Williams will out-gain Ray Rice on the year.
Green Bay will repeat as champs by beating San Diego in the Super Bowl.
Millions will take the Browns to the Super Bowl but the team still won't make it.
I hate you all, good night!